you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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