I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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