my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
