Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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