I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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