and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
