just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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