I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
