i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize