If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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