Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
