just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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