she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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