the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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