I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
