That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
