we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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