Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My cat gives me a boner
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
