Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
