Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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