Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
