Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
