A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
