is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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