Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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