i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
