Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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