You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
