I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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