this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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