I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
