Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I stole a fireplace last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
