so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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