Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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