He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
