Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
