I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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