If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
