I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
