he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Randomize
