Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
