I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
