shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
