I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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