Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
