Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize