I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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