and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
