Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
