He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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