I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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