I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
