The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
