I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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