YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
