Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize