And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had sex on a roof
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
