we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
