I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
