i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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