i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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