You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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