I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
