what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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