cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
