I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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